Morning Artist

Every morning you are an artist with a blank canvas.  What your day becomes depends on how you want to paint it.  What colors will you choose to use throughout your day?  Will they be earth tones? pastels?  Will you use light strokes or sharp brushes?

The colors you choose and the way that you apply them, will create the backdrop of your day.  To create a happy and sunny day paint your day in yellows and golds.  Add a little energy and creativity by mixing it up with orange.  To really show how special and unique you are splash some purple on the canvas.  Maybe this is too much for you.  Maybe you need a bit of serenity in your day?  Blue creates a sense of calm and comfort.  Express how compassionate and open your heart is with pink and throw in some green when you feel nurturing or are ready to turn over a new leaf.    Also white offers cleansing and a fresh start.  Tread carefully with blacks and grays, they could lead to depression.  Best to use them to outline and sharpen your outlines.

What color is YOUR day?

Inspired by my friend, Chelsea's post over at  Om School, I decided to share this lesson with my children.  After our morning meditation, we sat in circle time and shared our favorite colors.  I then asked them why they resonate with that color.  For Mikey, (7 year old), he likes Red because it reminds him of energy.  For Max, (4 year old), he likes Green, because he loves to play outside in the grass.  And for Alex, (3 year old) he likes blue, because it is pretty.  Mikey turned to me and said, "I know your favorite color is pink."  I looked at him and felt terrible that my favorite color had changed once again.  I told him, "Actually, today I like Green.  My favorite color changes everyday with my moods..."  And so our lesson began.

We explored the colors - which were hot, warm and cool, what they represent to us and how they would be useful in our day.  We colored pictures of happiness and sadness.  We labeled emotions with colors. (love-pink, sadness-gray, etc)  We discussed our feelings and what colors we should paint our day with.  The boys loved the exercise and continued to use it throughout the day.  When one was acting up, another would approach and point out that they are adding too much black to their day.  Hopefully this practice will continue and keep them in the present moment,  mindful of how their outlook and actions are projected to others.

Morning Artist

Creating Positive Habits

My intent for today is to remember to breathe as I release old habits and practice positive ones.

My inspiration came from an innocent conversation that Mikey and I had this morning about cereal.  Max and Alex can eat their cereal whether it be dry or soggy and enjoy it in any form; whereas Mikey and myself will only eat it while it is slightly moist.  Afterwards, I sat and reflected on this silly conversation which made me broaden my thoughts to the rest of my life.  What in my life do I do by habit, and how are these habits serving me?  I realized then that this was my intent for today, to change my perspective of the  soggy cereal at the bottom of the bowl.

I shared a Zen Story on Chasing My Bliss.   Would be curious to know what others understand from it.  It seems that this one has been interpreted two different ways.  I will keep my interpretation to myself so that I don't waver anyone's opinion. 

My morning yoga session was The Dancing Sun Sequence from Namaste Yoga.  This sequence combined standing poses with focus on Warrior II (Virabhadrasana II), Extended Triangle (Utthita Trikonasana), Revolved Triangle (Parivrtta Trikonasana) and Warrior 1 (Virabhadrasana I) to stimulate energy flow.

I practiced Kundalini Yoga Meditation this afternoon focusing on the Fifth Chakra (Vishuddha) which is located in the throat.  The core need of the Throat Chakra is to find your voice and speak your truth.  I thought it would benefit today's intent to locate my truth about my habits and help me find more creative ways to engage in more positive ones.

Love and Light.

Creating Positive Habits

Loving-Kindness (Metta)

My intent for today is to close my eyes, breathe deeply and think positive, loving thoughts.


My inspiration came from the Four Sublime Abodes, Loving-kindness (metta), Compassion (karuna), Sympathetic Joy (mudita) and Equanimity (upekkha). These four attitudes are the ideal way of conduct towards all living beings (sattesu samma patipatti). They provide the answer to all situations arising from social contact. They are the great removers of tension, the great peace-makers in social conflict, and the great healers of wounds suffered in the struggle of existence.

I posted the Universal Love Prayer from the Metta Sutta on Chasing My Bliss in the spirit of the Four Sublime Abodes.


My morning yoga session was from Namaste Yoga and focused on Crane Pose (Bakasana); which although challenging, happens to be one of my favorites. The sequence that was put together leading up to and out of Crane was beautiful. After I completed the session, I played it over to just watch the "dance."


Today I meditated for 30 minutes on Loving Kindness (Metta) an unconditional, inclusive love, a love with wisdom. It has no conditions; it does not depend on whether one "deserves" it or not; it is not restricted to friends and family; it extends out to include all living being with no expectations of anything in return.

I began with loving myself (without a measure of this unconditional love and acceptance for ones self, it is difficult to extend it to others), then I included those who are special to me and finished with all living things. This meditation session has uplifted my spirits and has kept me journaling all day.

It has been a wonderful day filled with love and light. Namaste.

Loving-Kindness (Metta)

A Beautiful Soul

My intent for today is to honor my Nana's birthday by keeping her memories alive.


My inspiration for today came from the memories of my Nana. My Nana was an old soul, a kindred spirit, very in tune with the earth and very wise about the world. She taught me about life by showing me how to embrace nature. Today, would have been her 93rd birthday. I shared a few stories about how I know her spirit is still with me at Chasing My Bliss. She truly was an amazing woman who inspired all that she met.



Today to honor my Nana, I meditated for 20 minutes on Love. I started the meditation focusing on unconditional universal love, then visualized a fountain of love within my heart, pouring forth healing waters to nurture and support myself on this day of remembrance. Then I focused on self love and forgiveness of myself and others for all pains caused so I can heal. Finally I sent love to all those that I appreciate and reflected on the significance and meaning of love; in its origin, its expression, its qualities and its goal.


Happy Birthday, Nana. I miss you with all of my being with love and light until we meet again.

Namaste.

A Beautiful Soul

The Divine Mother

My intent for today is to choose love, joy and freedom, open my heart and allow wonderful things to flow into my life.


My inspiration came from the Divine Mother Prayer Dance. When praying to Divine Mother, this prayer dance is a powerful expression of devotion. You are using your body, mind, breath and heart; all in a harmony of celebration. Every aspect of that is a gift from Divine Mother, and when you show Her this prayer dance, She receives not only the gift of your prayer, but the understanding that you value these wonderful gifts. I posted it on Chasing My Bliss.


My morning yoga session was from Namaste Yoga and focused on the Warrior Poses. The three warrior poses commemorate the ideal that we as practitioners are the “spiritual warrior,” who bravely battle with the universal enemy, self-ignorance (avidya), the ultimate source of all our suffering. Behind each asana is a story, the story behind warrior pose can be found here.



My afternoon meditation was a traditional sit-down style to Delerium's Lumenis; a beautiful piece that worked perfectly to keep me focused while my children played in the other room. This song can be listened to here. Isabel Bayrakdarian has a beautiful voice that captures the moment and helps settle you into the right frame of mind.

Namaste.

The Divine Mother

Alex Photo Shoot

Did a photo shoot with Alex today for fun and just wanted to share a few of my favorites.  He is such a ham and so fun to take pictures of.  Enjoy!!  If you would like to view all of the photos, check out the album at http://share.shutterfly.com/action/welcome?sid=0AcMmLNuzaM2Tpw.  Would love to hear your feedback.  =)

Alex Photo Shoot

The Real ME...

I wasn't the best daughter. 

I wasn't a good friend.

I wasn't always a loyal girlfriend.

I was the girl that others liked to talk about but not say nice things.

I was the daughter parents wondered about where they went wrong.

I was the girlfriend that would do things for boyfriends so that they could never get too close emotionally/mentally.

I was the girl that hid under masks and facades looking for answers and hiding the real me under layers not allowing others to get close.

I was a girl looking for answers to life's most challenging questions while dumbing down for the outside world.

Shit, I was seen as the ditzy girl that always smiled, laughed and knew how to "party like a rock star." I would do foolish things and just live in the moment.....but not really live as ME. Well, I guess it was me, just....Fake!

I did many things to disappoint my parents. Drugs, parties, cutting school --hell I didn't even show up for college and I was there on scholarships, -- abusive boyfriends... I did a lot and I put my parents through a LIVING HELL.

It took me years to realize who I was. YEARS!! My parents tried everything with me. I used to swear they hated me. They could never understand how their "Smart Beautiful Daughter" could do these types of things and/or hang out with this crowd or be with this person.

How do you tell anyone when you can't even admit to yourself that you are afraid of what people will see you as if you showed them the real you. I did it once. My first true boyfriend, Mike. We had an extremely intense relationship. I don't mean sexual in any way. We were very very deep. We got each other. I was 16 years old (he was 18) and I had someone to share these deep conversations about everything from spirituality, the arts, philosophy to....pink elephants jumping over the moon. It was something anyone could wish for....who wasn't a teenager. We broke up because our relationship was too mature for us.

So what did I do? I built a wall. Being dumb seemed so easy! Mixing with the wrong crowds and having foolish relationships and partying just seemed like the way to get by. Since obviously my way didn't work.

Well, things got out of hand as they often do. I ended up with abusive relationship after abusive relationship. The last one the worst and it made my parents realize there was something wrong with me. They "forced" me to go to a mental hospital for a few days to see what could possibly be making me go through this.

I had the perfect home life. My sister and I were extremely close. My mother and I are exceptionally close. My dad and I had a decent relationship although (at the time) I only thought of him as a disciplinary.

Back to the story, I went in and was very angry with my parents for "making" me go through this. The anger built up from years of not knowing who the hell I was.

After this incident I started looking for myself for the first time since I was 16. Mike and I were still friends and we would discuss these things and it made me feel great to be this person again.

I would sit and talk to my Nana and she always told me to not regret my actions. Learn from them. So that's what I did. I LEARNED from them. I GREW from them. Most importantly, I now UNDERSTAND why I went through these things.

Psychiatrists told me it was a way to fill the void between my father and I. That since I wanted to be a Daddy's girl I would act out because it was the only attention I got. I believed it for years.... until I figured it out on my own.

I wasn't trying to fill any void with a relationship with anyone other than myself. I did these things because I hated the persona I was living. I never allowed people to get to know the real me. Only one person did....and I hated that I was shy/embarrassed call it whatever you would like.....

I wanted the world to see me for MORE than what I put out there.

When I had my oldest son, I changed my way of life even more and have really had a lot of personal growth. Due to cafemom and goodreads, I have made friends that I probably would have never had the guts too in real life.

Yes, I was a troubled girl but it was all a way to find myself. I'm okay with that. It's my past. It has strengthened my character. It makes me look at things in a way I never thought I could. I look at my children and sometimes I could see them slipping into what they think others want them to be and I try my hardest to let them be free of this.

My mother used to cry and wonder what she did wrong. How did she fail me. I always told her it wasn't her fault. She raised me with the best of morals. She taught me the difference between right and wrong. She was the ideal mother. The mother that I wanted to be. It took years for her to realize she didn't fail me. To see that I ended up on the path that she willed for me. I just hit a few paths where I took the scenic route and forgot about the mission at hand. It feels good to have her respect and admiration. It makes me feel wonderful that my parents admire my parenting. I'm in awe that they no longer refer to me as "the bad one." They look at me now and they see the real me. The me that I hid for over 10 years on a journey where all I was trying to do...was escape myself.

Life isn't easy. No one can say it is. But, I can offer one piece of advice as my Nana did for me.

Her's ~Live life without regrets.

I will add to hers ~ Don't make life more difficult by denying others your true identity. Love yourself and share who you really are. Those who should be in your life will embrace you with open arms and those that don't...you will see were never meant to be there in the first place. When you do this, life is beautiful! Just like mine is today. Despite the drama and heartache, I am happy because I am living it, being true to myself.

The Real ME...